I was planning on actually ripping some stuff off from Berman, but the narrator kind of co-opted the thing. No, this is not writtten from my point of view We share some traits, but I don't know that dude.
Almost every time I write anything I am thinking of at least one person I know ir. This poem is strange bcuz for once that wasn't the case. I don't know what I was thinking about. I'm high. Leave me alone.
One last thing . No matter how i might feel about Berman's work, he did write the following sad ass song, so he has my eternal respect:. https://youtu.be/A4qPyhQPFl0 seriously, this is one of the saddest songs I have ever heard. It breaks my heart every single time.
"the fucking moon (fuck the moon)"
(m)
if i could fuck anything
i would fuck the moon
i would stay there forever
covered in come and silence
with my dick in a crater
we don't like the moon
stupid yellow bastard
we like it in the dark
where we can do drugs and fornicate
I don't like how
the moon fills people with hope
hope does not really exist
there is doom
and there is god
but god feels so far away
like the moon
thats far away, too
(o)
we didn't ask any questions
we stumbled through the north
we were diamonds cursing light
by the time the sun went away
we were lit enough to make our own light
but then came the moon
in our faces, like a threat
you don't have to come down
if you die from an overdose
and you don't have to look at the moon
if you close the curtains
and don't go outside
but we have to go outside
because that's where the party is
and everything interesting
happens at night
so the stupid moon
will have its slutty way with us
it's almost as bad as the sun
(o)
you were talking in your sleep
some shit about the moon
you sounded like that dude
in that stephen king novel where a lot of people died
the city sleeps
and you sleep
but i rarely sleep
even when I'm not on dope
at this hour
i can walk the streets
and not be bothered
but i worry something bad might happen
if i leave you alone
i spent so much time by myself
i have no idea how to act now
you deal with my stupid bullshit
like my obsession with the moon
thank you for
i hope you never regret
the kind things you have done for me
(n)
let's pretend we're back in time
when things like
the moon didn't bother us
maybe if
we hold each other tight
we can forget the moon
and that we ever feared anything
*******
So this next poem is dumb, but I told Chris I was going to post it online. Here's what I said in an email when I first sent him a bit of it:
"Remember the other day when you basically said all my poems were about drugs? I was a bit angry for a minute, but then I remembered that you're a bitch. So I decided that I actually would wrote a poem about drugs called "fuck you, chris white", and it is the worst poem ever written bcuz you are the worst person to ever live.
Anyhow .this is ridiculous and totally dumb, and that's why it amuses me. It is basically the middle of the poem, but I am sending it to you before i finish editing the rest bcuz I am hoping it annoys the shit out of you."
Heh, verbally abusing each other is a very important aspect of our relationship, okay?
"fuck you, chris white (do more drugs/drug poem #1)"
i wish to live
a life without regrets
i will go to great lengths
to keep myself safe
what is life
if not a lie
we tell to ourselves and others
over and again,?
Come on, you've got to buy into my bullshit
it's the only way
i'll be able to believe in it myself
(2)
the world is a cloud
and i am a cloud
do i wish to always be a cloud?
i do not know what i wish
except to be with god
but i am not pure
i cannot be with god
so i continue to get high
and go there that way.
inside our heads
we are all our own gods
i like to live in there
but i need to remember
to sometimes look outside
when i look outside
i see krishna in everything
and i take a bit more dope
to further confuse my senses
is this my dharma
or will that have to wait?
(3)
i met a god, once
it appeared to me as a cloud
of a type i had not seen before
i did not try to talk, at first
i remembered that i was high
and possibly incoherent
it spoke and it told me
that i should go hard
i replied that i had
it said that I should
go as hard as i could
"jeffrey, the thing is
someone has decided that you will be
the poster child for self destruction
it seems that those fuckers
need a patron saint
so i said:;"well, shit
i guess I'm your boy
i will live forever
and consistently implode"
so good people
you must now see
there is a reason why
i have to do drugs
(4)
i will go to my grave
telling anyone who will listen
that they should do drugs
i've tried them most, except
for that one, the one that scares me
I'm worried that
it might kill another person i love
how dare i say anything
about anyone's personal drug use
i am consistently high, and
i'm not even all that picky, i'll snort everything
it's okay, don't worry
pretty much all of us are incapable
of protecting the things we care about
you'll end up in the smoke
if you think on things like this too long
but in the smoke
everywhere, there is love, beauty, and
someday we will remember nothing
someday we will be with our gods
(5)
everything is everything
as has been, will ever be
everything moves along
