"a spark is aching for the light return, return, return tonight"

 

I have a habit (probably a bad one) of talking shit about gods ( I am a polytheist). I believe very strongly that ultimately we are all going to be in the same place and that everything will be on a level playing field. 

The god I like best is  Krishna, who is basically a reincarnation of Brahman, who is that from which all life and energy flow  from, I try to be respectful

 I am a relentless shit talker. why shouldn't I talk shit about something that isn't technically better than me?

The other god I listen to is Ganesh, the elephant head god, and I'm not above muttering the occasional "dude, what the fuck" 

"i will be in (taking shit up with god)"

i exist 

only as much as i have to

if i go quiet

if you don't see me for a while

maybe, the problem

that of existence

maybe i'm taking it up with god

what good is a deity 

if you can't curse at it?

so cute, it wants respect

bitch, earn it 

besides i curse at everything

talk to people i love

i swear at them the worst

besides, how much damage

can a god really do?

if you're good, you're golden

my aim is 

to be so kind

even the  gods can't fuck with me 

the eternal laws 

are immutable

one of them is love 

another is kindness

i long for the sanctity 

of oblivion and peace

but if i am to be in

i will be in

may my life 

be a light unto others 

while i am waiting

to take this shit up with god

****""

This is so new it still has the bits of flesh it took from me clinging to it.

"suffering for the light"

what is this? light?

or is it just the bullshit we burn

 when we're trying to keep ourselves interested?

i could learn to lie and 

be worshiped by whatever I wish

but i want only to be a lowercase god who is quiet

and alone

and in the dark

i would suffer anything

 to keep my people from suffering

 but maybe watching loved one suffer is how we suffer best

i think it's supposed to build character

or something

a stick is more miraculous

than a stupid dumbass carrot

we have to get to god somehow getting comfortable can be painful

It takes more than just drugs

to kill a belligerent ego

ballad of a thin penis and other horror stories

 Here are some recentish poems.

The title of the first is a reference to the title of a bob Dylan song, but also to a line from deuce Bigalow: male gigolo. 

 

"ballad of a thin penis"

if i were a cake

i would be burnt

if i were god

i would apologize

if i were the sun

i would blow this whole damn thing

but i'm jeffrey

so i just make terrible jokes

two about my ex wife

one about your mom

i brag about my penis

and  how very thin it is

i can cover up

with ill humour

and other such bullshit

but that wont heal me

when i am hurting

i can flood my blood 

with hazardous chemicals anytime

but the drugs become a chore

when i don't go in happy 

once more, my penis 

is incredibly short and thin

if i were better equipped

do i think i could please a woman?

of course not, don't be silly

but it's nice to think

that sometime i could

"dicks out (for harambe)"

you know, if  someones says:

"be a man!"

you can tell them to fuck off

and be a woman instead

a soul has no gender

why should a body?

dude, if you just want to see my junk

dick's out, anytime, anywhere

just as long as i won't be arrested

a person is wearing a cock ring 

under a thong, nothing else to it

& people stop to sing: 

"how incredibly, incredibly heroic!"

but suddenly, I'm weird 

when i put on a dress and

i refuse to shave and 

i yell "smash the fucking patriarchy?!'

i don't care how you feel about rejection

when all of it

is ours to reject

your labels, your roles, all of us 

locked in your cages

but oh! 

it's just fear and shame

keeping us in

did you know?

you can just walk out

****

one more. yes, this one has dicks in it, too.

i, american #6

(1)

& bang

(a bomb? just a gun?)

& bang

(no sound, no cheer)

& bang

(just the collective fear)

someone trying not to choke 

tried to make a joke:

"war tamarraw? that'll starve ya

war today? all'll be paid

(2)

no one talked

when i was a kid

not about god 

or politics

there were newspapers 

and television news

which is how i learned

everyone cared more abou the president's penisthan they did the president himself

maybe we're looking at this wrong 

maybe it was her idea 

what if instead of a favor or a job

she just wanted a powerful man's cock in her mouth?

can we stop slut shaming sluts?

if a woman likes dick, let her suck dick

we should thank and salute them

for all they do

for this country's mental health

(3)

let it be known

i will carry america

as i experienced her

into the next life

be that punishment

or reward

along 

with all the others, and 

forever 

along with all

& everything else

all of us

we

are

forever

(4)

i can look at something ill

and offer up comfort 

but i can't make anything better

i can't undo mistakes

be they god or man's 

so i send up a prayer 

and try to smile

god, however

is tired of our shit

and a smile is threatening

when your belly is empty

and your bed is dirt

look at us, america

we're  no fucking better 

than slovenly  cave folk

i've watched you, i've seen

you take the kind

and the gentle

and the good

and whittle them down to spit

rebuilding them into sickness

with old fashioned fevers

(5)

i will not stand

I will not stand for this land

no one is equal

until all are equal

nothing will be good

until people learn how to be kind