"they never even thought to ask your name"

I feel the need to post something so here is this. I don't feel like posting anything newer. This was written (i think) the day after "troof". It's pretty similar in subject matter, but I think it's better. I re-read it last nite and was pleasantly surprised.

"troof #2"

this is what i do when i'm desperate
i listen to "all the umbrellas" on repeat
and erase your pictures from my phone
i ignore the fact that you're a twenty minute walk away
all of this, this is all

i can either do that, or disappear
but to disappear i'd have to undo everything
cut my hair, cut all ties
move to a new state, and change my name
it's easier to suffer, it really is

what if instead i showered you with words?
called you at one am with tears on my neck?
i could whistle a sea chanty, and hide in my hands
the backlash would be imminent
i need to pretend i'm safe

i'll continue to pray, and deny every urge
if it ever happens it
won't be because of me
or i'll have to go paint houses
back where it doesn't rain

The second line is a reference to the song "All the Umbrellas in London"  by The Magnetic Fields. It is one of the most depressing songs ever written, and is dear to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnLLR4QwEPY

Here is this because people seem to like it:

"for terri"

i wanted to sit with you in your garden

and talk about the iris

i wanted to listen to your voice as i sipped sweet tea

still, i can feel your spirit, and i know it continues

i will carry a piece of you forever

a treasure, a flower in the soil of my heart

you were something to be shouted for

i am blessed that you knew my name

you encouraged me to love, and to watch my mouth

and, i am bigger because of it

you called me "the picky poet", and played up my strengths

you stood, and struggled with me when i couldn't hold myself

i hope it's warm wherever you are

i hope the breeze blows just the right way

i hope you're with those you love

and i know you're kicking ass just same