I've got nothin'

This first poem I find very nervewracking. I don't really want to post it which is why I'm posting it. There is A LOT of stuff going on in here. Mostly stuff only I would notice but if you wanna pick it apart and make guesses, have fun. It's interesting to think about connections. What frame of thinking led me to write a line and how that line influenced a line in a later stanza.


"as seen through a door"

empty sounds dancing like fearful tears
balancing my outbreaks w/ the shape of streets to come
calming myself with the idea of peace
i throw my voice, and remove myself like vapor

if i outstayed my welcome, i am sorry
i can still feel the taste of your fingers slipping from mine
oh so silken, you infect my head like rhthym
i wanted your burden inside of mine, tucked into my inner like an infant's kiss

there are shadows that populate
the hall outside my bedroom where i stare as i write
the dancing of a woman, and the violence she brought
a foreign prayer trapped at my back, it commences my mutter

never more numb than the fuel inside my fingers
a pregnancy escapes my throat, and i
beat back things best left buried
a simple good night call from an ex-lover, and i'm back there, puking up my sorrow



These two feel like very close cousins to me. Both are sixteen lines, (but quite a bit of my stuff is sixteen, if I have a prefered format it's that) and both were written inbetween 11 and 12 at night, but beyond that I think the obvious similiarities are gone.
Abstractly, I think they're about the people I've been thinking about lately and whether they're thinking about me (I know some of them are).
I can point to a few lines in both of these, and know exactly which person influenced it. It's nothing direct, and how I got there would only ever make sense to me.
Again, none of this is direct. Nothing in either of these was written to or about any specific person. I guess it's like ideas leading me to other ideas.



"how to leave a room"

let me apologize
for every mistake before i make them
forever, i will write you poetry
i am sorry for this as well

don't get tatooed anywhere
forget my name as soon as i've said it
these things will only bring you sadness
i'll skip town leaving only my boots to remind you

you'll stay young eternal inside my head
your skin won't sag, and your breath will never sour
my imagination is a breeding ground for impossible things
it's there you will flourish, and fear nothing for always

let me kiss your lips one last quickly
remember the scent of my fading away
the last chords i sing will be
your name exaggerated, and soft as breeze