Monday, August 2, 2010

Don't ask questions. You won't like the answers.

It took a fuck of a lot of work for me to make this poem work

"no art poem"

i think i've taken the tortured artist thing to it's outer limits
by the time i had to start hiding my arms from strangers
my fingers were the only things still working
pushing the ink as fast as blood
an eternal struggle, an arguement with life
this is not me giving up, this only me trying to, and not being able

i could be in a parking lot with a can of coffee
sitting on a curb with the rain dripping on my notebook
not angry with anything, but only internal
wherever i go the heat is stifling
with each day that passes
thirty seems both closer and further away

excavate my collected works
throw them like stones but they fall like soft
with a low thud, and only curious glances
i'm not going mad yet, not even to amuse the masses
if i can only out a few more years
it will be a much more popular ticket

i stare off into space and search for the words to staunch the bloodflow
the tortured poet is a false idol, but an eternal identity
i violently suggest myself, constantly, and without a map
i have my humanity, but how often am i happy with it?
if only i could keep the fevers away
there would be no art but the pain would diminish


"decadence"

shelves full of decayed things
relics of fire and extinction
button pusher's bones
don't ask why i killed my lover
only know that she got in the way, and don't do the same

i'm exercising my options
i have more than you realize
until the cancer gets me or my addictions catch up
i reserve the right to complain
to bleed the world, and to make it my own

golden soldiers marching oblivious
i flick my cigarette in their direction and light another
i'm a laboring, breathing thing, that is all
but i want your bones on the outside
i want the windshield of the world to crack and shatter and for everything to change.

I feel no need to add any comments to these. Let them speak for themselves or yammer at me in the comments.
I've been writing a decent amount lately. Public transit is good for that. I wrote two things I like (I think) today and they'll probably appear here in the next few days.

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